


Tempus Fugit

by elem (elem44)



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-27
Updated: 2018-01-27
Packaged: 2019-03-09 22:29:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13491126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elem44/pseuds/elem
Summary: A Relativity episode addition with a Halloween flavour.





	Tempus Fugit

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the VAMB Secret Spook 2005
> 
> This was my request: “Smut is fun, but never my first choice. I like the angst, the sappiness. Makes me whimper and cry. In a good way. But like I said, I’m not picky.”

The doors to the Captain’s ready room swished open and Kathryn Janeway strode out on to the bridge, straight into a spider’s web. She stood on the step just below the Tactical station pulling the sticky strands from her hair and brushing them from her jacket. Her steely gaze focused on the blonde helm officer and she glared at him, thoroughly unamused.

“Mr Paris, why are there spider webs on my bridge?”

He grinned at his Captain. “Happy Halloween, Captain.”

He’d hoped to encourage her to enter into the spirit of the day, but his smile faded under her frigid glare. She’d been in a foul mood for weeks now, and the crew had been speculating as to the cause. The only thing they could agree on was that it had happened soon after the strange chronoton fluxes had occurred the day of the ping pong tournament. Since then she’d been isolating herself and her manner had become curt and abrupt with everyone. She seemed angry and upset, but no one had any idea what the problem was.

“Remove the webs, Lieutenant. That’s an order.” She cast her eyes around the bridge. “And all the other Halloween paraphernalia had better be gone by the time I get back.” She fixed him with a frosty glare. “Understood?”

Tom’s shoulders slumped.

“Yes, Captain.”

With that she marched to the turbo lift and was gone. Tuvok looked at him with an expression of ‘I told you so’. Tom shrugged his shoulders.

“It was worth a try.”

He then nodded to Ensign Harper to take the helm while he wandered around the bridge and collected all the decorations. He picked up two small jack o’ lanterns from the engineering station, a skeleton from the ops station, the ghost dangling from the science console and grabbed handfuls of spider web and fake spiders which were draped over various pieces of furniture and hanging from the bulkheads. Bundling it all together, he dumped it into the recycler in the briefing room.

As he watched it disappear, he decided it was time to have a word to Chakotay about the Captain’s mood. It was starting to affect everyone. The Halloween party was scheduled for tonight, and she was such a wet blanket, that if she came in the mood she was in, the party would be over before it even started. He walked back on to the bridge and took his seat at the helm.

Chakotay stepped out of the turbo lift and strolled across the bridge, reading a PADD as he walked. Nodding to Tuvok as he passed, he took his seat, noting the vacant chair to his right. He was worried and not a little disturbed by his absent captain. She had barely spoken to him in weeks except to be curtly dismissive and at times she’d bordered on being downright rude.

The crew were well aware of this fracture in the command team’s relationship and it was starting to affect the running of the ship. The crew were on tender hooks. She was snapping at them for no reason and people had started avoiding her. The trouble was, he had no idea what had happened.

She’d been disappointed to find that her beloved ancestor, Shannon O’Donnell, hadn’t been the stellar success that the family mythology had led her to believe. But despite that, they’d had a wonderful time at the impromptu Ancestors Eve get together. The only other thing of note in the last few weeks had been some strange chronoton fluxes and a brief bout of space sickness that she and several of the crew had suffered. He was puzzled by her bad mood. The Halloween party was tonight and he’d intended to ask her to go with him, but she was so prickly at the moment, he wasn’t sure if that was a good idea.

Tom swung around from the helm interrupting his thoughts. “Commander, could I speak to you for a moment please?”

Chakotay looked up from the PADD with a frown. Sighing, he knew what this was about. Indicating the door to his left with a jerk of his head, he stood up and Tom followed him into the briefing room. He called over his shoulder. “Tuvok, you have the bridge.”

He turned to the helmsman. “What’s the problem, Paris?”

Tom blew out a breath. “Well, it’s the captain.” Chakotay nodded grimly. “We… the crew and everyone, well, we’re concerned about her. She hasn’t been herself for a while now and we were wondering if someone….namely you, should speak to her about it.” Chakotay opened his mouth to speak but Tom continued. “I know she’s the Captain and can behave as she pleases, but it’s affecting everyone and to be honest I think she’s unhappy about something and maybe needs to talk.” He looked at Chakotay expectantly.

Chakotay rubbed his forehead in consternation. Tom was quietly amused at the gesture. It was so like the captain. They were like an old married couple. They’d even managed to pick up each other’s mannerisms. He smiled to himself. If only they would give in to the attraction that was so evident to everybody and seemingly so unapparent to them. It would certainly make life a lot easier for all concerned. He had a feeling that the captain’s current mood was somehow connected to the man standing before him.

“OK, Tom. I hear what you’re saying. I’ll look into it.”

Tom was relieved.

“Thanks, Chakotay, and ah…. good luck.” Chakotay gave him a wry smile and nodded his dismissal. Tom moved towards the door with a spring in his step. He hoped Chakotay would be able to fix this. When the captain was out of sorts, it set the tone for the whole ship, and no-one liked to see her unhappy.

After Tom left the room, Chakotay hit his comm. badge. “Computer, locate the captain.” As much as he hated to admit it, Paris was right. This had gone on long enough. She was obviously upset about something and he was duty bound to try and sort it out.

“The Captain is in her quarters.” He took a deep breath to prepare himself. Why did he feel he had to ‘gird his loins’ before meeting with her when she was in this frame of mind? Damn, she was a difficult woman. His heart beat a little faster as he thought of her. He adored her. He always had, but she tried his patience at times. She was so damn stubborn and headstrong. It was one of the things he loved best about her. It made her undeniably attractive, and it was one of the reasons she was such an outstanding captain, but it could be incredibly difficult to live with sometimes. It tore at him that she could be so unhappy and insist on struggling on alone through her troubles.

He wished he could convince her to lower the drawbridge and let him in. He heaved a sigh of resignation and left the briefing room taking the turbo lift directly to deck three. As he walked up the corridor to her door, he took several deep breaths<, trying to centre himself. She was the only person he knew who could unbalance him so quickly and so easily. He was sure she saw it as a sport.

He rang the chime.

No answer. He pushed it again. After a moment the doors swished open and he stepped through into the dimly lit interior.

“Kathryn? Are you here?” She emerged from the shadows in the corner.

“Yes, I’m here, Commander. What do you want?” Her face wore a stern frown and her mouth was set in a thin line. She was definitely not happy. His heart ached for her.

“I’ve just come to see how you are. You’ve been a little unsettled lately and we’ve been worried. Is there anything I can do to help?”

He was trying to read her features in the gloom. There was a suspicious glint of tears in her eyes. He stepped towards her, concerned.

She harrumphed and crossed her arms. “No, Commander, you can’t ‘help’ me with anything. I’m fine.” She took a step back towards the corner. “Is that all?”

Damn it. She was on the ‘commander’ jag again and pulling away at warp speed. He tried to stay calm, keeping his voice low and soothing. The gentle concern in his eyes held her gaze.

“It’s Chakotay, Kathryn, and I’m here as a friend. If you need to talk, please, I’m more than happy to listen.” She turned her back to him and moved towards the window.

“I don’t need your help and you can tell all the other concerned parties….” She turned and glared at him. “that I’m fine, and if everyone would keep their minds on their jobs and less on what their captain was doing, everything would run a lot more smoothly.” She turned back to the window. “Is that clear, Commander?”

Her condescension bit at him and his answer came hard as flint. “Crystal, Captain.” How dare she be so dismissive of his concerns?

She turned around again and glared at him. “Don’t you use that tone with me, Commander. You will show the proper respect or I’ll have you on report.”

He moved towards her. “Report? For what? Caring? Kathryn, don’t threaten me with something like that.” He took another small step forward. “I came here out of concern for your wellbeing, something which is well within my rights as your First Officer, but I also came as your friend, because I care and hate seeing you so upset and unhappy. I expect you to have the common decency to treat my concerns with the respect they deserve. There is something wrong, Kathryn, and I want to help. When you’re this unhappy it affects the whole crew, so you can either tell me what it is or I’ll be forced to inform the Doctor.”

He heard her suck in a breath. She reeled around and took a step towards him with her eyes blazing.

“How dare you give me an ultimatum? Get out.” She pointed to the door. “Get out now before I call security and have you thrown in the God damned brig. I don’t need your help or anybody else’s.” She was so angry she was trembling and she grasped at it. The anger dulled the hurt.

He threw his arms up. “Fine, do it on your own then.” He looked closer and could swear he saw fear and hurt behind the anger. “Spirits, why can’t you just accept my help? You don’t have to do everything on your own. Damn it, Kathryn, we care.” He took another step towards her and his voice softened. “I care.”

She stepped away and he watched the walls go up. “I’m quite capable of looking after myself, thank you, Commander. I don’t need you hovering about and getting in the way.” She turned away again and moved towards the dark corner. “Now leave me alone.”

Chakotay felt that. It was a vicious blow. ‘Hovering’ and ‘getting in the way’. She wanted him to ‘leave her alone’. Well that was easily fixed.

He looked at the back of his angry captain. “With pleasure.” He clenched his fists. “I take it then, you won’t be at the Halloween party.” She turned and glared at him.

“The last place I want to be is at that ridiculous party.” She gave a derisive laugh.

“Fine. Have a pleasant evening alone, Captain.” He turned and walked towards the door. She gasped, but he was so angry that he didn’t turn around. “Am I dismissed?”

He heard a quiet “Dismissed” and he walked out the door.

Seven of Nine was coming down the corridor as Chakotay stepped into the hall. As she passed there was a thud of something hitting the closed doors of the captain’s quarters. Seven stopped and looked at Chakotay. “Commander, is the Captain in need of assistance?”

He tamped down his barely contained anger.

“No, Seven. The Captain doesn’t need anything or anyone.”

Seven quirked her brow implant at the strange behaviour of the First Officer and the Captain. She was about to continue her journey along the corridor when Chakotay spoke. “Seven? Are you going to the Halloween Party this evening?”

She frowned at the commander.

“The Doctor suggested I attend as a continuation of my social lessons.”

“Good. Would you care to accompany me?”

Seven looked towards the captain’s doors and then back at the commander.

“Is the Captain not accompanying you?”

Chakotay gave the closed doors a quick glance.

“No, the captain is otherwise engaged this evening. I’ll pick you up at the Cargo Bay at 2000. Does that suit you?”

“That will be sufficient.” He looked at the cool blonde and then briefly wondered what in God’s name he was doing. Oh well, too late now.

“I’ll see you then, Seven.” She nodded at him as he walked past. She looked back at the captain’s door again and then strode off down the corridor.

Kathryn stood by her window staring at the stars as they slid past. She swiped impatiently at a tear and admonished herself. No crying. How could you cry for something lost that you hadn’t even had in the first place? It had taken her some time to calm herself after the argument with Chakotay. She’d thrown her coffee mug at his departing back, and then paced her quarters for a good half hour, seething, at him, at circumstances and at time. Why did he have to come here? He was the last person she’d wanted to see. He was salt for the wound.

The hurt was still so raw even after three weeks. Damn Braxton. Damn him to hell and back. He’d failed to destroy Voyager’s future but he’d succeeded in destroying hers. Why did he have to tell her? She could have gone on, blissfully unaware for another two years before she had to deal with the loss, but no, he’d wanted revenge, and he’d collected in spades. The hollowness echoed inside her and made it difficult to breathe. Forcing a shuddering breath, she swiped at another tear. The anger surged again as she thought of Chakotay. How could he? Didn’t he know how she felt? She stifled a sob, holding her fingers over her mouth to smother the sound. Well he certainly wouldn’t have any idea after the way she’d treated him this afternoon, not to mention in the weeks leading up to this.

She moved to the replicator. “Coffee, black.” She took her cup and sat on her couch in the dark and thought back to that moment in the corridor on the Voyager of the past, when she’d apprehended Braxton. She’d been so smug. So superior and sure of herself as she’d held the phaser to his chest.

‘Come here often’, she’d said. The bravados of the words made her cringe.

It had begun three weeks ago. At first there had been the strange chronoton fluxes, and then a duplicate Seven of Nine had materialised out of nowhere in pursuit of a mysterious saboteur. Kathryn had then been beamed away from Voyager into the 29th century and shanghaied into the service of the Timeship Relativity.

Her mission had been to pursue Braxton into the past and foil his attempt to plant the temporal disruptor that would destroy Voyager in this timeline. After Lieutenant Ducane had transported her back in time, she’d found the psychotic saboteur on Deck 4 Section 38, just as he’d predicted. Having dropped his phaser when he’d stumbled over a fallen crewman, it was a simple manoeuvre to apprehend him. Unfortunately, the phaser wasn’t the only weapon he’d been armed with, and in the few minutes it took for Ducane to transport them back to the Relativity, she’d been mortally wounded. Braxton had dealt her a fatal blow, and she had a slow and lingering death to look forward to.

She hugged her arms around herself, suddenly cold to her bones. Braxton’s words echoed through her mind. ‘Don’t be so pleased with yourself, Janeway. The future has got something fitting in store for you.’ He’d laughed maniacally, like some b-grade villain.

Blithely ignoring his threat, she’d reminded him of the temporal prime directive. He’d looked at her as if she were the one who was insane. He’d then gleefully uttered the words that would shatter her heart forever. ‘All your efforts will be for naught, Janeway. You’ll get them home, but your pet drone will steal the one thing that you’ve waited and longed for all these years. She’ll take your man, Janeway. She’ll take Chakotay and he will go willingly. You’ll have to marry them and it will break you. You’ll never be the same.’

She’d stared at him in disbelief.

He’d laughed again. ‘You don’t believe me? Then believe this.’ He’d shoved his tricorder into her hands. It showed the marriage certificate and the Starfleet log – in her words – of the marriage of Chakotay of Dorvan and Annika Hanson, formerly Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix 01. She’d read her own bitter words from the not so distant future, reeling at the anguish of having to marry the two people she loved best in the world, the man who owned her heart and the woman/child who was as close to a daughter as she would ever have. Those words were now indelibly stamped on her shattered soul.

Standing beside Braxton, with her heart in tatters, she’d felt the tingle of the transporter and in a heartbeat she was back on the Relativity facing the very woman who would bring an end to all her hopes and dreams. Braxton was delightedly aware of what he’d done and had looked on with relish at her suffering.

She’d been desperate to get back to Voyager. She needed to hide away and tend her wounds, and on her return, she’d scurried off to her quarters, unable to even look at Chakotay. His impending betrayal was a jagged knife in her chest. She’d stripped off her clothes and immersed herself in a scalding bath, scrubbing and scrubbing to try and remove the taint of Braxton’s words. She’d sat in the water for hours as it chilled, until, as a shivering cold wreck, she’d dragged herself from the bath, dressed and gone back to work. That had been almost three weeks ago now and the wound had now begun to fester.

Her anger and disappointment were eating away at her and she was slowly unravelling. She’d borne so many disappointments in her life. Some she’d dealt with better than others and she tried to convince herself that she would eventually learn to live with this one too. But her heart ached dreadfully. Time and perseverance were the keys, but it wouldn’t be easy. There was no place to hide. Every day she would be confronted with the reality of her loss, Chakotay and Seven’s happiness a constant reminder of her failure and sacrifice. She groaned aloud and held her hand to her midsection trying to staunch the flow of despair.

Chakotay and Seven. She stood up abruptly from the couch, unable to keep still with the thought, and moved back to the viewport. She shook her head in disbelief and another errant tear escaped. This one she let trail down her face, and watched as it shimmered in her reflection. She reached out and touched the reflection. It was cold, as cold as her heart would become. She took a deep breath and turned from the window, wiping her face and moving towards her desk. She had to move on, forget her dreams and inure herself to a lonely loveless existence. A fist of despair pressed down on her chest. She forced a couple of deep shuddering breaths and tried to shake the looming cloud of dread. She would find the strength to fight the hopelessness and despair. She had to. She had no choice. The die was cast.

She took her place at the view port again, watching the passing stars, her cooling cup of coffee in her hand. How long she stood there she couldn’t say but her musings were interrupted by the chirp of her comm. badge.

“Neelix to the Captain.”

She tapped her badge wearily. “Yes, Neelix.”

“Captain, we’re waiting for you in the holodeck. The festivities can’t start without you.” She could hear the revelry in the background.

“Neelix, will you give the crew my apologies, but I have too much work to do tonight to attend.” There was a pause.

“Oh dear, Captain, we were expecting you. Can you just come down for a few minutes? It would do the crew good to see you. You know how they love to see you at these social functions. Please, Captain, just for a few minutes. They’ve all gone to such a lot of trouble.” Kathryn sagged in resignation. There was nothing worse than a pleading Talaxian.

“All right, Neelix. But I can only stay for a very short time. I’ll be there soon.”

Kathryn went into the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror. She stared at the face of a defeated woman. She had to snap out of it. She knew she had the strength to overcome this. She washed her face and tidied her hair and after applying some makeup and lipstick, she looked quite presentable. No one would know that she was the owner of a broken heart.

She consoled herself with the practicalities. She had two years to get used to the idea of Chakotay and Seven as a couple, and by the time they were actually an item, her heart would be as tough as leather and she wouldn’t feel a thing. For now though, she had to at least pretend she was fine. Chakotay had hinted that members of the crew had been concerned about her behaviour, and that was not acceptable. She had to overcome her grief. And now that captaining Voyager was to be her life, she resolved to be the very best captain she could. She tried a smile. It looked relatively convincing, as long as no-one looked too closely. She took a deep breath and left her quarters for the holodeck.

The doors were open when she arrived, and she stopped as she stepped over the threshold, looking around in astonishment. Tom and his cohorts had done an amazing job. The holodeck had been transformed into an old dilapidated mansion, complete with rickety sweeping staircase, dusty chandeliers and moth eaten draperies. Every now and then a ghost or ghoul would swoop down on unsuspecting guests, bats were flapping around near the ceiling and spiders dangled from nooks and crannies all around the room. Occasional yelps and squeals could be heard as they dropped on an unsuspecting victim’s shoulder or head.

Neelix spotted Kathryn as she came through the door and bustled over to greet her. “Captain, Captain, I’m so glad you came. But you’re not in costume.” He looked at her disappointedly. He was wearing a large pair of teddy bear ears and was dressed in a yellow furry suit with a red top. He had a small jar hanging from his side that had the word ‘HUNNY’ written on it.

“No, Neelix, as I said I have work to do. I’m only here for a moment.” She looked around again and then back at the excited Pooh bear. “It looks wonderful. I take it this is Mr Paris’s work?”

“Yes, I will, Captain. Isn’t it just wonderful?” Kathryn ducked as a winged rodent almost clipped her shoulder. A Zombie carrying a tray of drinks walked past and Neelix grabbed a drink from the tray and handed it to Kathryn.

“Thank you, Neelix.” She looked at it, suspiciously. It was an unhealthy shade of green. “Neelix, what is this I’m drinking?”

“Um, that one would be the Witches’ Brew. Tom said something about vodka, gin, and some other green liquor. It tastes quite good, Captain, but of you prefer, the red one is called a Banshee. It has many of the same ingredients but with tomato juice.”

“Thank you, Neelix. I’ll stick to this one I think.” She took a small sip. It wasn’t unpleasant. She looked around her and noticed Baytart and Jor dressed as Tweedle dum and Tweedle dee. There were pirates and queens, cowboys and clowns, knights and superheroes. She wasn’t quite sure about Chell’s choice of costume. She had always pictured Superman as being somewhat taller and a little less rotund, but the colour certainly suited him.

A genuine smile hovered around her mouth as she watched her crew enjoy their fun. She felt a little lighter and quickly steered her thoughts away from Chakotay, not wanting to spoil the mood. She’d moved towards the back of the room, having wended her way through the crowd saying hello to as many of the crew as she could recognise. She found a spot near the bar and stood back and watched the revelry.

All of a sudden there was a muted gasp from the crowd, as another couple entered the holodeck. Kathryn strained on tip toe to see who it was. Suddenly as if by magic, the crowd parted and she was confronted with a vision from her nightmares. It was Chakotay and Seven, together. They looked stunning. He was dressed as a Buccaneer Pirate with knee high boots and long coat. He looked wickedly dashing with his eye patch and tricorn hat. Seven was dressed as a medieval maiden, with a long flowing, wide sleeved dress and headpiece. They made a striking couple.

Kathryn stood rooted to the spot as they made their way in her direction. She couldn’t move, but she couldn’t stay. She wouldn’t be able to bear it if they came near her. Chakotay noticed her standing there staring at them, and he looked at her coldly.

He hoped she was pleased. He wasn’t hovering and it looked like she was alone. It was what she wanted. Seven stopped when she saw her. Kathryn felt sick. She swallowed several times but the colour had drained from her face and those close to her were looking on with concern. Seven noticed her distress and looked worriedly at Chakotay.

“Commander, you informed me that the captain would not be attending tonight. I do not wish to offend her by being here with you.”

“Seven, the captain had told me she wasn’t coming, but I’m sure she won’t be offended.”

He smiled at Seven, tucking her arm under his and then looked again in Kathryn’s direction. She looked strange, very strange, in fact she looked shattered and suspiciously like she was going to cry. What on earth was going on? He gazed at her worriedly. Even at this distance he could see her hands trembling and she looked terribly pale. He hadn’t really meant to hurt her. It had been childish revenge for her words, but now it had gone too far. He honestly hadn’t expected her to be so upset. He let go of Seven’s arm and moved towards her. Kathryn saw him coming and it was enough to jolt her into action.

She slammed her drink on the counter and ducked under the stairwell, intent on making a quick escape. How could this be? Braxton had said that their relationship began at the end of the seventh year. He must have been mistaken. Their affair must have started sooner.

Oh God. She could barely breathe, as the tight fist of anguish squeezed her heart. She felt sick.

The holodeck doors loomed wide before her. She was almost home free. She slipped out the doors and moved quickly up the corridor, almost at a run. She dove into the turbo lift as she heard his footsteps pounding up the corridor behind her. Sweet heavens, her nightmare was a reality. Chakotay and Seven. She almost gagged at the thought.

She spilled out of the lift on deck three and rushed to her quarters. She had to hold back the tears until she was safely away from prying eyes and knowing looks. She slammed her hand on her door panel and fell through the doors. She took a great shuddering breath before staggering to her desk and bracing herself against it. She squeezed her eyes shut to stop the tears. He would be here any minute. She knew him well enough to know he would follow, and with that thought the door chimed. She was so tempted to let him stand outside but on the third ring she uttered “Come”. Pulling her mantle of professionalism around her and letting her captain’s mask slip into place, she prepared herself to brave the storm.

He strode into the room looking around frantically.

“Kathryn?” He took a couple of strides towards her, pulling off his hat and eye patch. “Kathryn, are you alright?”

“I’m fine, thank you, Commander. May I be the first to congratulate you?” Coolly controlled, she walked forward with her hand extended, waiting for him to give it a perfunctory shake.

“What? Congratulations? What for? Kathryn, what are you talking about?” Frowning, he watched as her hand dropped to her side and her shoulders slumped in resignation. He tossed his hat on the table.

“I know all about it Chakotay, he told me. He just failed to mention that your relationship started now and not in two year’s time.” She gritted her teeth and looked him in the eyes. “I am truly p…pleased for you both” She was having great difficulty but she was determined to maintain her composure. “I also wish to apologise for my behaviour this afternoon. It was unprofessional of me and I’m sorry if I offended you.”

“Kathryn, I still have no idea what you’re talking about. Who’s ‘he’? What relationship?” Surely she couldn’t think that he and Seven… “You don’t mean Seven, do you?” He chuckled. “Kathryn, there is no relationship. I ran into Seven in the corridor outside you quarters after our …discussion today. I was angry with you and on the spur of the moment I asked Seven to come with me tonight. I’ll admit I was hurt by your words and it was childish of me, but I thought if I took someone else to the party it would teach you a lesson, and maybe even make you a little jealous. Seven just happened to be going past at the time. I have absolutely no interest in Seven.” He stepped towards her. “I’m sorry.”

He waited for her to show some sign of relief. He fantasised about her throwing herself into his arms but instead she seemed to withdraw even further.

“You don’t have to apologise, Chakotay. I know for a fact that it’s true. You may not be interested now, but you will be and I’m not going to stand in your way. I hope you’ll be very happy.” He moved towards her and grasped her arm.

“Kathryn, this is nonsense. Where did you hear this? I should know how I feel, and I can assure you, my feelings have nothing to do with Seven.” He ran his hand through his hair in frustration. “Who told you that I was interested in her? If it was Paris and one of his harebrained matchmaking stunts, I’ll have a piece of him.”

“No, it wasn’t Tom, and I can’t tell you who it was. You’ll just have to take my word for it that it’s true. I only want you to be happy.” His heart bled. She was very upset, but he was equally distraught and he had to make her see reason. He couldn’t care less about Seven. It was Kathryn that he wanted. Kathryn he needed. He’d loved her for years, this stubborn, beautiful, misguided woman. He moved towards her and looked at her intently.

“You want me to be truly happy?”

She nodded her head, but her face was beginning to crumple. With that he stepped forward and swept her into his arms. “Then marry me. Make me the happiest man in the universe. What do you say, Kathryn? Will you marry me?”

She was pushing at his chest trying get away from him. This was all so wrong. The timeline would be forever skewed if she allowed this to continue. It spelled disaster.

“Chakotay, no! Let me go. Please…please let me go.” Her struggles were weakening and she was starting to cry.

“Not until you give me an answer. Will you marry me, Kathryn?” She gave one almighty shove and stood away from him, her chest heaving with emotion. She wiped her tears away.

“No, Chakotay, I can’t marry you. You’re destined to be with someone else. The timeline would be disrupted and I just couldn’t do that. I’m sorry. I would dearly love…. give anything…but I ….I can’t. It’s not meant to be.” Her voice was barely a whisper by the time she’d finished speaking.

Chakotay was stricken. “But Kathryn, I love you.”

She clapped her hand over her mouth and tears began to fall. What was she going to do? She took a step backwards and then another. She had to get away. This was torture and she couldn’t pull her eyes away from his. She took one more step back and her leg caught the low table and she lost her balance. Chakotay leapt forward and caught her just as she was about to fall. They both overbalanced and crashed to the floor. Chakotay had managed to twist slightly so he didn’t fall directly on her.

“Kathryn, are you all right? God, are you hurt?” Her head was buried in his neck and she was heaving great gulping sobs. She’d taken handfuls of his coat and was gripping them tighter and tighter, pulling herself closer to him. He rolled on his side, and with her head resting on his arm he held her tight against him. With his other hand he swept her hair away from her face. “Kathryn, please, you have to tell me what has happened.” She was still clutching at his coat as she tried to control her sobs. He was right. She had to tell him. She couldn’t deal with this alone anymore. He had to know and to hell with the temporal prime directive. She spoke into his chest.

“It was Braxton.” She sobbed again. “Captain Braxton. Do you remember the temporal fluxes and the bouts of space sickness a few weeks ago?”

“Mmmm.” He gently stroked her hair and cheek as she spoke.

“Well, they were caused by a temporal disruptor that was planted in one of the conduits on deck 4. It was Braxton who’d put it there. He was suffering from temporal psychosis and he wanted to obliterate Voyager from the timeline. I was sent back in time to stop him.” Her grip on his coat started to ease as she told her story. “He was insane, Chakotay, but he was also malevolent and cruel. He hated me. As far as he was concerned I was the cause of all his problems. I was able to catch him and in the moments while we waited for our beam out, he told me of my future and …… stole my dreams.” She laid her cheek against his chest and listened to his heart beat. It soothed her. He tugged her closer as she continued. “You and Seven will be married two years from now. I will perform the ceremony. It will destroy me and I’ll live to be a bitter, lonely, old woman.”

Chakotay took in a breath to say something but she was too quick. “Before you deny it, I saw the marriage certificate and my logs.” She lifted her head and looked up into his eyes. “That’s why I can’t marry you, Chakotay. You’re meant to be with Seven, and no matter how much I love you and want to be with you, I can’t.” His heart sang with the knowledge that she loved him. He now had to convince her that she was the one he wanted, not Seven. How was he going to persuade the stubbornest woman alive that they were meant to be together?

“Kathryn, I don’t care what Braxton told you. I won’t marry Seven, not in two years, not ever.” She was shaking her head. “Kathryn, look at me.” He ran his hand through her hair and held the back of her head so she had to meet his eyes. “I love you. I always have and I always will. You have to believe me. Besides, I’m no expert on temporal mechanics, but even with my limited understanding I know that the moment Braxton told you about the future it was forever changed. Kathryn, the man was insane. You can have whatever future you want.” He leant forward and kissed her forehead. “Kathryn, do you want a future with me?”

She looked directly into his dark eyes and was almost mesmerised by the intensity of his gaze. A future with Chakotay? It was what she’d always wanted. She nodded her head, not trusting herself to speak. His face broke into a broad grin but it faded as he watched tears start to well in her eyes.

“Kathryn?”

She sobbed. “I thought I’d lost you.” She touched his cheek. “I’ve been so angry and unhappy, but I’m still not convinced that this is the right thing to do. What happens if it throws the timeline completely out of kilter? We could change things that are not meant to be changed. As much as I want this, it worries me.”

“Kathryn, who’s to say that this isn’t the correct timeline, and all that you went through with Braxton was to bring you to this point. Maybe Braxton’s interference in the other timeline skewed it and it needed to be corrected. I can’t imagine a time when I wouldn’t love you.”

She was lying in his arms, breathing his scent, listening to his heart beat and the soothing sound of his voice. She felt at peace for the first time in a very long while. How could this be wrong? She consoled herself with the thought that the Time Police on the Relativity would be monitoring the timeline, and if it was a mistake, no doubt they would turn up and set everything to rights again.

They were still lying on the floor. She reached up and caressed the side of his face. The face she loved so dearly.

“I love you, Chakotay.”

He closed his eyes and let her words soothe his soul. They settled gently but firmly on his battle weary heart and joy welled up and overflowed. He opened his eyes and looked deeply into Kathryn’s. She gasped. The love and devotion that filled his gaze took her breath away. She threw her arms around him, holding him as tightly as she could. How could she have ever doubted him? She started to laugh from the overwhelming joy and relief, and then she started to cry. Her whole body was shuddering as the weeks of rigid emotional control and bitter anguish found release. He scooped her up and carried her to the couch.

He sat with her cradled in his lap as he stroked and soothed her. She gained control after a few minutes and snuggling deeper into his embrace. She began kissing his neck and running her fingers through his hair. She rubbed her cheek against his and breathed in his scent.

Pulling her head back she watched her fingers as they traced the lines on his forehead. Her eyes then slid down to his, and smiling they slid further down to his mouth. He licked his lips and she gasped as arousal shot through her and then she looked back to his eyes. Their faces drifted together slowly, their eyes closed, and lips met in a kiss that made time stand still. After endless moments they gently pulled away from one another. Kathryn whispered against his mouth.

“Chakotay, I love you. I love you so much.” He groaned and their lips met again, this time with more urgency. Tongues tangled and hands roamed. Kathryn slid backwards on the couch until Chakotay was lying along the length of her. She was in heaven. He was kissing her deeply, and in between groans and whispered words of love, his fingers were running through her hair and stroking her face and neck. He pulled back all of a sudden, and cradling her head in his hands, he looked deeply into her eyes.

“Kathryn, I have to know. Will you? Will you marry me? Please. I love you and I….” She pulled his head down to hers and kissed him hard, then pushed him away a little, she smiled broadly

“Oh yes. Most definitely, yes. There’s nothing I want more than to be with you. Yes, Chakotay, I’ll marry you.”

He let out a loud whoop. “Thank you, Kathryn, and I promise I’ll do everything within my power to make you happy.” He traced his finger down the side of her face and along her jaw and then ran his finger along her bottom lip. She kissed his wandering finger.

“You already do.” Then pulling his head down again, she kissed him soundly.

He couldn’t stop grinning. He suddenly had an idea. “Let’s do it now.”

“What?”

“Get married.”

“Get married? How?” She couldn’t help laughing at his excitement.

“Now on the holodeck. It’s perfect. The crew is all there. Tuvok can perform the ceremony. Come on. Let’s just do it.”

She was helpless against this avalanche of enthusiasm, besides, it was a wonderful idea. She laughed up at him. “Okay. You’re on.”

He grabbed her and hauled her from the couch, holding her close against him. “Kathryn Janeway, I love you. You drive me to distraction in so many ways, but only with you am I at peace.” He held his cheek against her soft hair.

His words brought tears to her eyes. “I love you too, Chakotay, with all my heart.”

She could feel him smile and her heart beat strong and proud that she could bring this wonderful man such happiness.

He stood back from her and looked her up and down. “We have to get you something to wear.”

“Oh please, can’t I just wear this?” He looked at her and shook his head.

“You can’t get married in your uniform, Kathryn. Besides, I’ve got the perfect outfit.” He moved over to the replicator and mumbled quietly at the computer. “What size are you, Kathryn?”

“Four. Chakotay, what are you up to?”

She suddenly realised how insane this was, wonderfully, beautifully and perfectly insane. She was about to marry Chakotay. It was her dream and after living the nightmare of the last three weeks, she wasn’t about to let this opportunity slip through her fingers. If nothing else, her experience on the Relativity had taught her that time wasn’t something to be trifled with, and she would grab this gift, hold on to it with both hands and treasure the moments they had together.

Chakotay turned to her, holding a bundle of clothing.

“Here Kathryn, you get changed while I contact Tuvok.”

As she took the clothing, he grabbed her and swung her around. Setting her down, he held her head between his gentle hands and kissed her eyes, the tip of her nose and then took her mouth in a soul shattering kiss. She clung to him.

He pulled away and rested his forehead on hers. “Kathryn, you leave me breathless and weak kneed.” He stepped away and smiled at her, but there was a wicked twinkle in his eyes. “You’d better go and get changed or we’re not going to make it to our own wedding.”

Her body hummed with desire and her eyes sent an answering glint of need. Turning her by her shoulders, he pushed her gently towards her bedroom. As she changed, she could hear the muted words of his conversation with Tuvok and then silence. Her costume, as it turned out, was that of a pirate’s wench.

Chakotay’s sense of humour was an acquired taste, but the dress was quite beautiful. She wore a loose peasants blouse and bustier with a long blue skirt over half a dozen petticoats. She slipped on her shoes, and turned, to find him leaning against her doorway watching her as she tried to lace her bodice. His intense look was making her fumble. He came towards her and took the laces from her trembling fingers and tied them carefully, and then he slowly ran the tips of his fingers just above the edge of her blouse. Kathryn trembled and goosebumps broke out all over her skin. She looked up into his heated gaze and thought to herself that it must be the costume, because she felt like she was going to swoon. He stepped back and took a steadying breath. “You look beautiful.” His face broke into a devastating grin. She grinned in return as held out his hand. “Come wench, our nuptials await.”

She grinned broadly and swatted his arm. “Captain Wench to you.” He moved closer and cupped the side of her face.

He leant close and whispered against her lips. “My wench.” And then he kissed her deeply. A thrill ran down her spine at the gentle possessiveness. Then picking up his hat and eye patch and tucking her hand protectively under his arm, he led her out into the corridor.

They heard someone around the corner whispering. “Red alert, they’re on their way.” And then the scuttling of feet. Word had travelled fast.

The trip in the turbo lift seemed to last forever. Kathryn couldn’t keep her eyes off her handsome pirate. Her heart was pounding and her senses were reeling. She was surrounded by his scent and extremely aware of his proximity. Her hand drifted up and caressed the side of his face, her fingertips committing to memory the feel of his slightly bristled cheek and the soft skin of his neck. She promised herself that later she would spend time studying him and learning the textures and tastes of him. She lifted her hand again she ran her fingers through his hair and down the back of his neck. He smiled knowingly at her.

The last three weeks had been so difficult, but all she could think of now was that she was not alone and she never would be again. He loved her and her heart swelled with the knowledge. He was hers and she was his, forever. Peace settled over her. Her heart rejoiced and her soul took comfort in his loving presence. She rested her cheek against his arm and held him close.

Chakotay stood with his hand resting gently on the small of Kathryn’s back. The need to maintain some sort of physical contact with her was as necessary as breathing, and he knew he would be bereft if the connection was broken. He could sense the tension in her body. It was as if he was part of her and could feel her every move and nuance. Her scent surrounded him and he could sense the waves of want and desire. He had to touch her. His hands had a life of their own as they caressed her back and shoulders. The feel of her skin rippling under his touch was like a drug, and he wanted more and more. It sent a thrill through him to know that she felt the need as strongly as he. It was like some form of exquisite torture. Beautiful in the extreme.

Finally they arrived on deck six and stepping out of the lift they found it eerily deserted. Taking each other’s hand they walked up the quiet corridor to the holodeck. The doors opened as they approached and they stood in the doorway for a moment looking at the smiling faces of their crew. Their family. They cast their eyes across the colourful crowd. They were all there, Tom, B’Elanna, Harry, Neelix, the Doctor, Seven, Samantha and Naomi, Ayala and the Delaney sisters, Baytart, Jor, Gerron and Chell. Smiling face after smiling face greeted them. Directly ahead of them, Tuvok stood on the bottom step of the staircase waiting patiently, looking very regal in his Vulcan robes in amongst the clowns and cowboys.

A lone hand clap started and then another and another until wave after wave of enthusiastic applause echoed through the ship. The crowd cheered and whistled and Kathryn was so moved. She laughed and cried at this expression of approval and loving support from their crew. Chakotay looked down at her and lifting his hand he gently wiped her tears. He kissed her forehead and then held out his left hand, palm up. Kathryn looked up, their eyes locked, and placing her hand in his, she whispered “I love you, my angry warrior”. He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed her fingers, tucking it up against him, and he smiled down at her happy, beautiful face. “I love you too, my brave warrior woman.” Her heart was full.

He looked into her eyes. “Ready?”

She nodded and smiled. “Absolutely.” As they moved into the room the applause quieted and the crew stepped aside to make way for their leaders. With tears and a smile Kathryn walked at Chakotay’s side, down the man-made aisle. As they arrived at the base of the staircase, Tuvok met Kathryn’s eyes. He gave the barest hint of a smile, but it warmed Kathryn’s heart to know he approved.

He looked out over the crowd and began to speak solemnly to those gathered, reciting the well known words of the Federation marriage ceremony. An aura of quiet peace and rightness pervaded the room as he joined Kathryn and Chakotay together forever. Kathryn closed her eyes, her heart full to overflowing, when Tuvok pronounced them husband and wife. She gripped Chakotay’s hand fiercely. He again lifted it to his lips and kissed the back of her hand and as husband and wife they turned to greet their crew. As they kissed, a huge cheer rose from the crowd and she threw her arms around him and held on tight.

Almost immediately they were herded towards the bar, and Tom and B’Elanna were the first to congratulate them. Then came Harry, the Doctor and Neelix, who could barely contain himself. Seven came forward tentatively and offered her best wishes. Kathryn embraced and thanked her.

After that, the rest of the crew surged forward to offer congratulations and best wishes. Kathryn was hugged by Vampires and Vikings, Teddy bears and Tarzan, Caesar and Spiderman and various clowns, Kings and cowboys. The party had now begun in earnest. Music blared, the drinks flowed and the family of Voyagers spread joy and cheer as they celebrated the beginning of a new era.

Kathryn took a moment to look around her. She was now married and the happiest woman in the known universe, but she shook her head in disbelief at the scene. She’d married a dashing pirate whilst wearing the garb of a pirate’s wench. The guests at her wedding had ranged from ghosts and kings to clowns and ballerinas. Her church had been a haunted mansion, the wedding toasts were being made with drinks called Ectoplasm and Toxic Waste, and she still had to duck the occasional kamikaze bat. Who would ever believe her? She smiled to herself. It wasn’t quite what she had envisaged for her wedding day, but for the stalwart captain and crew of the Starship Voyager it seemed a fitting tribute to the strange and wonderful journey that was their life.

She looked lovingly at Chakotay as he chatted to Tom, who was dressed as a scarecrow, and B’Elanna who was stunning as a Grecian goddess, and thought herself the luckiest woman in time.

 

-fin-


End file.
